Date November 4th, 2016
They say that I should write down my feelings, and that way I can communicate with people about my feelings together because they saw that I could be better at talking, they mean just in general but more specifically they mean my feelings. By they, I mean everyone in my life that means a lot to me: my family, my therapist, Rhi, my other friends, and even teachers that don’t really know me. I could be better at talking about my feelings, but I feel that talking about them would just stress me out more than it already does, so I just prefer to shut down and not really deal with feelings. The funny thing that I think that I could be a better person if I talked about my feelings more, and I feel that it would help people get to know me better I might get better at letting people in as well. I’m very happy with my life except for the fact that I get stressed and anxious very easily, and the fact that I don’t talk about my feelings with other people. I’m always for trying to be a better person, and better myself but I feel like I can’t because not talking about my feelings all the time is something that I like, I don’t want to be seen as a weak person. I feel like my reason is complicated, and a little odd I know because I won’t even let my family or the girl that I really like, I’m still very confused about my feelings for her but I really feel like I do love her.
I’d like to tell you a little bit about me, and what is going on in my life right now even though I’m the only one that is going to be reading this, so it’s like I’m reading and writing about myself. I’m sixteen I turned sixteen not that long ago, under two months ago and people say that sixteen is the age that people don’t like because it’s an awkward limbo of being an adult, and still being a minor. I’m a sophomore in high school; and let me tell you it’s a time I feel like I know what I want to do, but I have all this self-doubt about actually making it as a journalist I’d like to be a political journalist I love politics, but I don’t see myself as a senator or a governor I want to write about politics, I don’t want to really be in them. The funny thing is that in this world of digital media I would like to write for a newspaper, rather than an online publication I just love the hustle and bustle of the newsroom. I’m a writer for my school’s newspaper, and they call me one of the more prominent writers on our schools newspaper. I am also the sectary for my class in student council, this is another reason why I don’t think that I’m really cut out for politics I don’t like the way people treat others, kids say some mean things about other things and so I just want to be a writer.
They say that I should talk about my family members and Rhi in these journal entries, I don’t know why but they say that it might help me open up to them if I write what I think, but I ‘m worried that they might read this. I’ll start with Lizzie she is the actress in the family, and she has a flare for the dramatic but she is more social and more in tune with her feelings, I want to be more like her. Ren and I are a lot alike, the two of us are more alike than Lizzie and I the two of us should be twins, not Lizzie and me, if I had to pick a favorite person in my family it would Ren. As for Lenore, I love how enthusiastic, how friendly, and how popular she is and I would like to be like her as well. Peter and I both want to get into media he wants to be an editor, so we have that in common and Nat and I also have a love of history and we talk about history a lot I love talking about history with her. As for my foster parents, I love and I love that they wanted to make us a member of their family, they’ve done so much for Lizzie and I. The last person that they told me to talk about in this journal entry is Rhi, I don’t know why they’re telling me what to talk about in these entries, but I love her so much she is my best friend and someone that I consider my better half I may even love her.
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